I used to think myself a giver. Giving those around me when in need. Infact I can go an extra mile and even borrow to help someone in need.

That was me. The person I thought I was. The person I smiled at in the mirror and said, you’re doing good girl. You will make heaven because you are generous.


For some reasons my wedding date was moved up unexpectedly, leaving me cash trapped. I was desperately in need of money to support the wedding preparation. Unfortunately all those who I’d given, gone all the way out for or made a sacrifice for refused to move an inche  to help out.


At this point i was frustrated. I lashed out a few times. Angry that all those who I’d helped have refused to come to my aid in my time of need.

I realise these people are the “needy” always only around when in need. They were never going to really pay me back. I was only in their lives for the service I provided (help).

Wedding preparation continued as planned, but I was really angry at this discovery. I was disappointed and hurt.


I took a bible study plan about extravagant praise and that was when I discovered I had never truly being a generous person in the first place.

I was someone who invested in the wrong place. Who gave to those who I expected would give me back on a raining day like my wedding period. 

I went all out for people so they will owe me and in turn pay up when time is due.


Months after the wedding, an unexpected gift was given to me by the least expected person. She said its better late than never. I was excited that months after the wedding gifts were still rolling in. 

However, still what is generosity? 


While it is good to give even friends and family I think giving strangers is a great way to check our reasons for giving.  Assisting the littlest in our society in secret confirms our motive (if you’re unable to do this you know you’re not giving for the right reasons).

The story of the woman with the alabaster jar shows she didn’t care about the price of the perfume nor did she care about the value of her hair. Her coming to Jesus was purely out of overwhelming love and admiration. 

Until we learn to give in secret without expecting anything in return, we cannot ascribe the word generous to ourselves. 

If you give publicly and you have received praise and admiration of those around you for “doing good” you are not generous. It means you get off of people’s praise. That praise not heaven is your reward right there and you’re only a praise junky.

If you give like I used to; giving those who I consider friends and family with the hope of being helped someday is not generosity either and there is no reward in heaven waiting for you. It’s investing and I hope unlike me you will invest wisely if you so decide to do so.



Yass! It’s being a while I wrote a full article or blog post or anything more than figures. I have being away budgeting and planning my wedding and it was everything I dreamed of and more.


Initially, I was advocating for a small private ceremony (mainly because the cost of a big wedding scared me). Then we started planning and gradually realized we could not have a “secret” wedding. We wanted our wedding to be memorable and fun.


Deciding on the wedding date was tricky; my husband wants us to marry before his birthday, and because i’m a catholic we can’t have our wedding during lent. Eventually we settled for the Last Saturday in April. We had already picked the date and started preparation before we realized that movement will be restricted from my husband’s side of the state on the day of our church wedding Sigh.


Our one day ceremony quickly became a two day event. The Friday preceding the wedding would be for the traditional rites. While Saturday would be dedicated to exchange of vows in the church and reception party.


Well, Friday April 28th came. The morning was beautiful, with my mother cutting her Sixtieth birthday cake and sharing the joy with church members after thanksgiving mass. My husband getting baptized and taking the name of Saint Joseph (grin). While no one can really tell if his Joseph is that of Mary’s husband (the popular choice because my baptismal name is Mary). I choose to believe he is both Joseph the dreamer and Joseph the husband of Mary.


The morning passed quickly, as I find myself sorting hotel bookings for my friends and getting settled for makeup.


Makeup? Check

Outfit? Check

Friends? Check

My Mother and I before stepping out for the ceremony
Still getting ready

It’s time for my traditional wedding. I stepped out with a big smile one that lasted through the whole ceremony. I noticed he had a fine smile too…

Bride and groom smiling



Showing off my first ring



Night time was spent quietly with my girlfriends. My last sleep in with girl friends as a single girl. It was extraordinary!


Saturday morning, I peeped through my hotel. It was a sunny morning and I was really grateful. Weather can be unpredictable during the raining season and the last thing I want is a wet and cold day (it always dampens my spirit).

My cousin and maid of honor, My beautiful God daughter and yours truly

 Mass was slated for 11am because of the restriction in movement. By 10.30am I was in church ready to be walked down the aisle by eleven. We exchanged our vows, received rings, shared a kiss a thanksgiving later and mass was over. But just before then I was inducted into the women’s society CWO (Catholic Women Organization).

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We took a few pictures in church with family and friends then headed to the reception venue for a delicious party.



In short it was a beautiful sunny day. Filled with laughter and plenty love, shared with people I care about. It was all I imagined and more…