I used to think myself a giver. Giving those around me when in need. Infact I can go an extra mile and even borrow to help someone in need.

That was me. The person I thought I was. The person I smiled at in the mirror and said, you’re doing good girl. You will make heaven because you are generous.


For some reasons my wedding date was moved up unexpectedly, leaving me cash trapped. I was desperately in need of money to support the wedding preparation. Unfortunately all those who I’d given, gone all the way out for or made a sacrifice for refused to move an inche  to help out.


At this point i was frustrated. I lashed out a few times. Angry that all those who I’d helped have refused to come to my aid in my time of need.

I realise these people are the “needy” always only around when in need. They were never going to really pay me back. I was only in their lives for the service I provided (help).

Wedding preparation continued as planned, but I was really angry at this discovery. I was disappointed and hurt.


I took a bible study plan about extravagant praise and that was when I discovered I had never truly being a generous person in the first place.

I was someone who invested in the wrong place. Who gave to those who I expected would give me back on a raining day like my wedding period. 

I went all out for people so they will owe me and in turn pay up when time is due.


Months after the wedding, an unexpected gift was given to me by the least expected person. She said its better late than never. I was excited that months after the wedding gifts were still rolling in. 

However, still what is generosity? 


While it is good to give even friends and family I think giving strangers is a great way to check our reasons for giving.  Assisting the littlest in our society in secret confirms our motive (if you’re unable to do this you know you’re not giving for the right reasons).

The story of the woman with the alabaster jar shows she didn’t care about the price of the perfume nor did she care about the value of her hair. Her coming to Jesus was purely out of overwhelming love and admiration. 

Until we learn to give in secret without expecting anything in return, we cannot ascribe the word generous to ourselves. 

If you give publicly and you have received praise and admiration of those around you for “doing good” you are not generous. It means you get off of people’s praise. That praise not heaven is your reward right there and you’re only a praise junky.

If you give like I used to; giving those who I consider friends and family with the hope of being helped someday is not generosity either and there is no reward in heaven waiting for you. It’s investing and I hope unlike me you will invest wisely if you so decide to do so.