STRUGGLER- THE COLOUR OF MY LIFE.

Sigh, I can’t over emphasis my love for writing. Chit chatting with my hands always makes me feel fulfilled somehow its being a struggle recently to even pick my pen up.

I started multiple posts during the holiday but barely completed one. While I have so many ideas of where I want to go and how many posts I’d really like to publish weekly, its being a struggle to keep up with my dreamz.

I thought to myself, haven’t I hit rock bottom already? Must I reach rock bottom before I can be fired up to live full and die empty? Why am I complacent (there’s still a lot I desire that i have not achieved).Last night I was looking for some motivation to write when I saw a video on YouTube. An interview with Lisa khols. I was moved to tears, I felt her hunger and drive and was surprised she’s been able achieve so much from nothing but drive and hunger.

By this morning I realise one bitter truth, “SETTLEMENT ” I remind my conscious self of the many times I’ve being told /made to settle in life. The many times I’ve worked hard for something and for no fault of mine or for external factors I’ve been told to settle for something else even though it was recognised that I’ve given more than enough to earn better.As the night crept by slowly I tossed and turned asking myself this question. WHY AM I SO COMFORTABLE WITH LITTLE?.

Now the settlement mentality is haunting my present. I am refusing to be hungry for more, because deep down I fear I may only work for it, pay for it but never earn it for whatever reason. I’m afraid to demand more from life because I now accept that the only thing I can get is what is given but since I’m not your regular “lucky” lady then I won’t be earning nothing soon.

This is the rude shock that rocked my world this morning. As I write, I do so with my head bowed in shame, knowing my life would have been different from what it is if only I can believe that when I put in the work I would get the desired result or even better.

Fortunately, this shame and sadness inspired me to write this morning. I realise many people from my kind of socio-economic baground struggle with a similar thing.

We are okay, as long as we can scrape the littlest from the ground. Most of us barely surviving to live.

WHY?

Because we have come to accept that it’s only in America a nobody can become somebody. Our society is riddled and torn apart by nepotism and unfairness. Hard work is not awarded making mediocrity the order of the day.

But in all, I really write this post not for the struggle that fills it, but for the awakenings of all who read through.

Our society may be anything but supportive of innovations and bright minds. It may be riddled with holes of praise for what is wrong and refusal to recognise hard work. But at the end of the day, we are here, right now in this generation at this point in human history for a reason.

If it’s all perfect and there are no huddles to be crossed would we have a colourful story to tell?

This morning I encourage myself and you reading this (i will personalize for your sake).

Bukunmi (put your name) from this day on I will embrace my struggle(s). I will do whatever its going to take me to fight back any negative conscious and subconscious believe that i now consider facts against living the life I was born to live. I will lead a healthy, productive and positive life everyday that remains. I refuse to live in the regret(s) of my past, I promise to enjoy and be present in every moment. I decide today to look forward to the future like a small child, knowing everything and anything is possible if I put in the work and trust God to guide me through.

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SLIM FITNESS

Fitness seem to be in vogue now. Everybody is talking about keeping physically fit. What I find interesting though is the look on peoples face when I say I want to keep fit too.

Many of us seem to think keep fit is only for plus sized people. We think deciding to join a gym or exercise on daily basis always has something to do with drop an extra kilogram in body weight.

What we may be naive about is being slim is not tantamount to being fit. Don’t mistake the two. I’ve seen very agile plus sized people and very unfit slim people.

We all are exposed to many joint rigidity in today’s age were we spend most of our time sitting in traffic, in front of a computer, at the office or laying in bed. 

So I thought to share a few benefit of exercising.

  • It increases blood flow and encourages easier circulation in your body. This alone, increases our ability to perform mentally and react more quickly to stimuli. Sometimes what determines our success is our ability to think or act fast and this is determined by how quickly your brain gets the memo to see opportunities around.
  • Exercising is also a great way to relief stress. Because it increases our mental ability, its helps us to solve more problems more quickly this way we are able to have a more productive day and sleep a lot better.
  • Weight control. The popular way to drop a few kilograms is through exercise. Well it is actually for controlling or managing your body weight. While one may loose weight through exercising, we are able to monitor and control both weight loss and gain by maintaining a healthy dose of exercise.
  • Beauty therapy ; nothing good comes easy. That Beyonce’s flat tummy look after four weeks of having them twins didn’t come by magic. The beautiful skin your fit friend has is not only because she moisturises. Because there is increased circulation through exercise the skin of a fit person glows better.
  • Stronger bones and muscles (toned body) are often as a result of regular exercise.

Well the beautiful thing is keeping fit only cost you your willingness. You can follow simple exercise videos anytime of the day to get your body warmed up and flexible.

Initially, I thought investing in gym clothes, and equipment will motivate me to exercise. Now I realise owning a truck load of Nike or ivy park outfit won’t do the trick.

I’ve decided to keep fit as soon as I get a body scale. I’m not waiting till when I can afford to own a in house gym.

I’ll let you know as soon as I start and maybe I could do some life videos while at it. That way we can motivate and push each other to live a healthy life. 

I’m thin but not fit, my goal is to add a little more weight and be fit. What’s your goal?

SOCIETAL PRESSURES.


This is Africa and if anything is a constant from north to south, east to west Africa is the pressure on a woman to get married at a certain age. 

If you don’t? You’re seen as a “failure” no matter what you achieve outside of marriage. Not just that though, any success she accrue is seen as a direct hand down from a sugar daddy. 

The perception that a woman can be smart and successful is lost in our society and everything she owns or achieves is consequently seen as a gift of her having a Virginia or a sexy body.

If eventually she gets married? People starts talking about her having children. Sometimes even the husband pressures her for not getting pregnant (meanwhile sometimes that man may be the infertile partner). It is just believed generally that immediately a woman gets married the next thing is to start bearing children.

My colleague and I were joking around on our way to work. When a matter of another colleague who had just put to bed came up. Next thing he said is we are coming to your house next for a naming. Then I said Amen. Next thing he said was, it’s not a matter of amen, I give you till next year to invite us for your child’s naming ceremony. I was taken aback and spat out. What!

He looked at me, surprised that I was shocked then said well you’ve been married for a few months now don’t you think its time to have children. Is that not the reason for marriage? It took me a few moments to put myself together and reply (now really angry). 

Me: Nope, child bearing is not the reason for getting married. Companionship is. What are they teaching you in those churches you people attend?

Colleague: ehehn, is it not compaionship that leads to pregnancy?

Me: Nope, sex leads to pregnancy

Colleague: well, me I know one of the reasons for marriage is to have children.

Now completely irritated I responded.

marriage is for companionship not child bearing. Children however, are blessings of marriage. Besides I don’t need to be married to have children. But mostly marriage gives you a stable relationship, a promise that someone will have your back through good and bad times. But these days even a vow of marriage may not be good enough to have a partner through the thin, ill and even poverty of life.

At the end of the day, you’ve sometimes got to get your own back. So stop watching my womb you womb watcher and mind your goddamn business. 

I hissed, facing away from him I was still spewing anger on my face. My body reverberated and the chilly wind hit my face sending chills down my spine. 


This is me hugging myself not sure if its from the cool breeze or anger I still felt from my guts….

QUEEN OF KATWE

Trailer
Finally, I watched Queen of Katwe last night, and I have this to say about the movie…

Based on a true life story, it was emotionally chargring whispers (I shed a few tears while watching). The reality of poverty all over Africa was layed bear. The reality of how hunger and homelessness as driven bright African minds into despair, into believing they can never become something came at the fore front of the movie.

What about the coach? He was a symbol of hope, of what determination and self drive could achieve but even he’s would be a fascinating story of how ones destiny can change completely when we allow our inner man show us the way. A struggling orphan who sort redemption from poverty in being the best engineer Ugandan could boast of. Became a chess coach to the country’s least privileged children. 

Uneducated though they were, he became an extraordinary teacher, seeking, developing and encouraging one of the brightest minds in the history of the board game.


The movie also brings to our conciousness, that there are different parts in life. Each step , every single action we take will lead us down the road we may or may not desire. Phiona Mutesi, chose like her brother the part of chess and education. This eventually brought her family freedom from penury and world wide fame.


Queen of Katwe is the story of struggle, self discovery, small victories that gave way for bigger ones whilst building the confidence of a downtrodden child. It is also the story of how sometimes a detour can show our true desire and help us find our true place in life.

The full movie is on you tube. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

https://youtu.be/WvY_SnJeqdw

LINE OF THE ASSES.

Okay, I know I don’t talk much about my day job but I love it. The analysis that comes with the job, reporting, risk analysis. 

Oh! I have the best job in the world. But I don’t talk much about it because, well I like to think of this blog as another aspect of my life.

An aspect I love as much as my day job though I’m unable to blog as much as I’d love to. 

So we were having this meeting and honestly I was concentrating and taking mental notes (I hating using writing pads). 

The meeting ended, and just as everybody got up to get back to their desks, I caught an unholy sight. Lol.

Some women have got asses! Damn!

I’m not talking, fake ass like dem Nicky Minaj’s pair. I’m talk real, raw, gigantic natural African asses. Kim Kadarshian’s or beyonce’s got nothing on them.

I don’t have anything near the smallest pair of ass in the picture above, but trust me I like women with some flesh on top of their legs. Eheh!

While the assful lady on the far right looks like her Burgundy covered ass could replace a mug holder, the middle wide ass in polka dots looks sexy on a woman who’s had three kids. The best look on the picture (personal opinion) is the tightly sitted pair in striped dress. 

Chai! Sometimes I feel like I understand men who drool when they look at endowed women because hell I drool too sometimes.


  

CHANGING LIVES

I did a short post on social media yesterday about a colleague and friend. Until I posted it, I felt I was only writing about a colleague.

Then it hit me, I don’t have to wait to miss, loseor be operated from a colleague, friend or family member before I can appreciate them. 

Because of this simple social media message, I have decided to reflect on my relationships and hope some good will come out of it.

TRUTH


It’s a bright Friday morning. The clear skies brings to my consciousness what transparency looks like. 

It’s beautiful.

We are familiar with the sentence don’t lie to me; just tell me the truth. However, unready we are to hear that truth…

I remember discovering something about someone and didn’t know how to tell the affected party who was my friend that she’s being lied to. Eventually I told her what I had found out, but it cost me my friend.


Most times truth comes at a cost. What I’ve discovered however is that it doesn’t have to be bitter every time we say it.

Knowing the painful power of truth, it is important that when we decide to speak it, it should be with empathy, love and care for the person we speak to.

Jesus is one person known to have spoken the truth at all times. While he hurt the egos of most Pharisees. He was able to speak truth with compassion and love to the Samaritan woman at the well. 

He spoke so kindly that she felt the power of is words and was drawn to it to the point that she went about spreading the news of Jesus’ presence in her village.

Let’s also recall Jesus conversation with the apostles during the last super. Though he informed, Peter will betray him, he also told all, that he as prayed for him. He didn’t go attacking Peter with the truth about his weakness. He spoke to him out of a place of pity and understanding of his human weakness.

All that being said, we have an example in Christ. The truth does not change even when we use a little love in dishing it out.

ONE WORD.

I started becoming anxious about something yesterday. Before going to bed my husband tried to console me. Then he asked a bothersome question think well about now. Once your worry is over how do you want to remember today, this moment.
Trying to get myself to sleep I remembered the scripture

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.Matt 6:34 (NIV)

That was when I realised I wanted to capture my life in this one word. “LIVE”

I want to look back on every moment satisfied that I did my best per time and lived every moment in the best possible way.

I have enough regret in life as it is. Wishing I had gone on more trips without worrying too much about finances. I wished I had invested and built more sources of income.

Looking back was when I discovered I had more money than I should be worried about but I was too worried to see the blessings I had and hence didn’t live my life I just existed. Looking back now I realise life is to be lived and not worried over at the end of the day I will be alright.

I’ve made my choice. The question is now yours. What one word will qualify you?
Live or Exist?

CALL

Telephone rings are not taken for granted this days. We’ll use a favourite song or trending song as ring tune. Others will specify the ring tune to indicate the particular person calling. A family member, a loved one or someone we’ll rather avoid all together.

Though a few of us like myself would prefer the vibrate alert for calls and messages. As long as you own a phone you would definitely get alerted when someone is calling your number, sent a voice mail or message.

The same is with our inner man. First we all are born with a conscience. A little voice that convicts us of sin. Not a timid sound. But a cool well thought out good version of us. You may hear it in the voice of a loved one, an elderly person, a friend, mentor or even religious leader.

However, at baptism (baptism by fire -holy spirit). A more decisive ring tune is discovered. As you walk, talk and listen to God in your inner self, we start recognising that voice more and more. We Begin to understand how our heavenly phone works.

The apps available on the direct line starts to appear more clearly. Like we may discover the dream app like Joseph did.

Now Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers they hated him even more.ESV Gen 37:5

Or the revelation app like John the apostle. Even the instinct of Modecai is sharpened as we keep growing in constant communication with the father.

Like a child learns to recognize the voice of its parent so do we start recognising God’s call in our daily lives.

This voice starts directing our decisions and actions to the point were we become a rallying point for others. A pointer of direction for crucial decisions because they see us as wise.

eAt Gibeon fthe Lord appeared to Solomongin a dream by night, and God said, “Ask what I shall give you.” And Solomon said, “You have shown great and steadfast love to your servant David my father, because hhe walked before you in faithfulness, in righteousness, and in uprightness of heart toward you. And you have kept for him this great and steadfast love and ihave given him a son to sit on his throne this day. And now, O Lord my God,jyou have made your servant king in place of David my father, kalthough I am but a little child. I do not know lhow to go out or come in.mAnd your servant is in the midst of your people whom you have chosen, a great people, ntoo many to be numbered or counted for multitude. oGive your servant therefore an understanding mind pto govern your people, that I may qdiscern between good and evil, for who is able to govern this your great people?”

10 It pleased the Lord that Solomon had asked this. 11 And God said to him, “Because you have asked this, and have not asked for yourself long life or riches or the life of your enemies, but have asked for yourself understanding to discern what is right, 12 behold, rI now do according to your word. Behold, sI give you a wise and discerning mind, so that none like you has been before you and none like you shall arise after you. 1kings 3:5-12. ESV.

That is when we get a glimpse of who we are/meant to be and the possibilities that lay ahead.

We! Are the salt of the world, the light of the world.

Yes! We have being called by the father to give sweet taste to this bitter world. To light up our universe. We are being “called” daily to respond to who we are meant to be…

You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet. Matt: 5:13 ESV

STOP FUCKING YOURSELF!

I like the page goalcast on Facebook.

Last week I saw a random video from the page about how Adele came to be. She never even inspired to become famous, her goal was to work with people who wanted to become famous.
If you’ve not seen the video here it is.

But for her friend who posted her video online. Adele may never have become as famous as she is today. But for her love life that went south she may never have written such a beautiful song as “someone like you”.

So guys I’m keeping it shorttoday. It is really time to stop fucking yourself over.

Live life, embrace your erorrs, be the best version of yourself, follow your passion cos you know not where it may lead you.