THE DAY A LIONESS WAS BORN.

Yas! It’s my birthday!!!


A new year begins. I’d love to reflect on last year but… It’s gone. 

A new year, new decisions, new goals. I’m adding a few adjustments to how I’ll be spending my time this year.

No room for unprofitable ventures, no room for negativity. I only want to be surrounded by good things, people and events that show me the bright side of life.

I’d be spending today going to church for 10am mass. Have a birthday thanksgiving, back home to cook a special meal for me and hubby. No partying. Sounds boring? Well that’s how I really like it. I’d gist you about how I really spent it later (I’m typing this the evening before my birthday). 


Happy birthday to Leos all over.

New 365days Loading.


The dreams I have as being vastly different from my reality. I wakeup everyday saying to myself; you can do this babe. If someone out there has achieved it then you too can. 
By night alas I’m sometimes where I left off in the morning. Many times I feel my life is either in a merigo-round or I’m just stagnant plain and simple.

While moving forward has been like an impossible task. I sometimes wakeup feeling unusually grateful. I’m sometimes filled with appreciation of being where I am at the moment. Thanking God for bringing so far.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Like few days of my life, I wokeup today grateful. Last year I was dating, living alone and blogging actively. The blog being my escape from reality, a place where I could get lost in thought, sometimes be happy, other times just rant out my pain. A year down the line I’m married to the man I truly love, I have a job still but while I’d love to blog more often my desire to blog isn’t fueled by loneliness anymore but by a desire to share hope and encourage those who come across my blog that things do get better.

A new year begins for me tomorrow. This time I’m looking forward to the new year with fresh eyes of hope. I’m looking forward to blogging more often. To spreading the hope I’ve found to live life to the fullest.

I’m believing this new year holds a lot. I’m promising to take my blog on this new 365days journey. Sharing as much as I can of the good the bad and the ugly. 

No one person has “the perfect” life. Together however, our flaws, joys, courage and fears will build a story that’s just perfect. 

Happy birthday in advance to me and all around the world who will be celebrating tomorrow.

A LOST ART – FINDING YOUR READING MOJO

From childhood I’ve loved reading. I attribute this trait to my mother who is more inclined to sit by herself reading all day. 
I guess I enjoyed all her bedtime stories so much that I was eager to read those stories myself. According to her I learnt to read earlier than my peers (my eagerness must have been the reason) so it wouldn’t surprise you if I told you that I was already reading mills &boom novels before I was nine. James Hardley Chase became a favourite when I was about thirteenth. And I was no stranger to drama novels of Danielle Steel, Terry Johnson, Douglas Coupland… Even Nigerian books were not off limits. Chinua Achebe’s things fall apart, No longer at ease, Arrow of God, were a natural favoirite while Professor Wole Soyinka’s the beautification was my best, his plays “the lion and the jewel” was an old dusty book I found in the house while we where moving. It instantly became my companion through the journey. 

Reading was my escape from reality. Various books fueled my dreams. While I sometimes attributed my inability to decide what I wanted to do with my life to reading too many genres of books, I enjoyed the fantasy I experienced while reading those books.
While I read school text books, encyclopedia and journals I felt like a nerd and dreamed of someday becoming an inventor or a successful researcher. Business books and journals made me desire becoming a chief executive someday. 

However, I remember being drawn to books about human psychology in the university even though I was a major in Chemistry. I read and discovered far more than I anticipated when I picked my first book on human behaviour by Tim Lahaye Why you act the way you do. The book naturally opened me to a new world of possibilities. I couldn’t get enough. So I kept reading anything human and psychology. Human behaviour, human relationships. I was also introduced to Taiwo Iredele Odubiyi’s novels (though they are religiously inclined, they are worth the read) through a friend and I enjoyed her books I couldn’t stop until I’ve read every book she ever published  you can get her books on amazon. I was also introduced to Francine Rivers books here and I read from her first book to the point that i started following when her next book will be published to get a copy. Tim Lahaye’s left behind series was popular in my time on campus and i joined the trend.

Then it was time to serve my father land and all through NYSC (National Youth Service Corp) I discovered a darker side to literature. I started reading about religions of the world, history of the Catholic church (one of the texts recommended for an evangelism course I was taking at the time). I read about dark arts, witchcraft, vamperism, demons and all sorts.
Though I’ve come to realise that when it comes to print for me, there are no boundaries, fortunately I discover this habit has made me wiser than my years, more open to suggestions and because I read on various topics it is also more difficult to accept some believes. 

Reading is fast becoming a lost habit. But if you’ve being able to read through this long post, it means you’re an avid reader.

However, if you are having difficulty reading the way you used to, just pick up a favourite book and read it again or a new book and you may just find your mojo again.

SO I GOT MARRIED

Yass! It’s being a while I wrote a full article or blog post or anything more than figures. I have being away budgeting and planning my wedding and it was everything I dreamed of and more.

 

Initially, I was advocating for a small private ceremony (mainly because the cost of a big wedding scared me). Then we started planning and gradually realized we could not have a “secret” wedding. We wanted our wedding to be memorable and fun.

 

Deciding on the wedding date was tricky; my husband wants us to marry before his birthday, and because i’m a catholic we can’t have our wedding during lent. Eventually we settled for the Last Saturday in April. We had already picked the date and started preparation before we realized that movement will be restricted from my husband’s side of the state on the day of our church wedding Sigh.

 

Our one day ceremony quickly became a two day event. The Friday preceding the wedding would be for the traditional rites. While Saturday would be dedicated to exchange of vows in the church and reception party.

 

Well, Friday April 28th came. The morning was beautiful, with my mother cutting her Sixtieth birthday cake and sharing the joy with church members after thanksgiving mass. My husband getting baptized and taking the name of Saint Joseph (grin). While no one can really tell if his Joseph is that of Mary’s husband (the popular choice because my baptismal name is Mary). I choose to believe he is both Joseph the dreamer and Joseph the husband of Mary.

 

The morning passed quickly, as I find myself sorting hotel bookings for my friends and getting settled for makeup.

 

Makeup? Check

Outfit? Check

Friends? Check

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My Mother and I before stepping out for the ceremony
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Still getting ready

It’s time for my traditional wedding. I stepped out with a big smile one that lasted through the whole ceremony. I noticed he had a fine smile too…

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Bride and groom smiling

 

 

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Showing off my first ring

 

 

Night time was spent quietly with my girlfriends. My last sleep in with girl friends as a single girl. It was extraordinary!

 

Saturday morning, I peeped through my hotel. It was a sunny morning and I was really grateful. Weather can be unpredictable during the raining season and the last thing I want is a wet and cold day (it always dampens my spirit).

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My cousin and maid of honor, My beautiful God daughter and yours truly

 Mass was slated for 11am because of the restriction in movement. By 10.30am I was in church ready to be walked down the aisle by eleven. We exchanged our vows, received rings, shared a kiss a thanksgiving later and mass was over. But just before then I was inducted into the women’s society CWO (Catholic Women Organization).

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We took a few pictures in church with family and friends then headed to the reception venue for a delicious party.

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In short it was a beautiful sunny day. Filled with laughter and plenty love, shared with people I care about. It was all I imagined and more…

                  

After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary. 

His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith’s multi-million dollar home and since the man’s lawyers were a little better he prevailed. 

He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes crates and suitcases.

On the 2nd day she had movers come and collect her things.

On the 3rd day she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

 When she had finished she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend all was bliss for the first few days.

 Then slowly the house began to smell. They tried everything cleaning mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

 Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even replaced the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairman refused to work in the house. The Maid quit.

 Finally they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

 A month later even though they had cut their price in half they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

 The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

 Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

 A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.

Including the curtain rods….

JUST SLAP YOURSELF!

I saw this write up and couldn’t help but post it.  Live in your truth people not minding how flamboyant your friend or neighbour is living theirs.  That is the first rule to happiness.

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So, one of favourite celebrities (Tonto Dikeh) invested all that money, time and energy to make us believe she had the best husband and life? The luxury cars, jewelries, vacation, birthday parties and clothes.Only to tell us they were all lies? That he never bought her anything, that she was just putting up a show to upgrade him?

I can’t stop imagining how many people felt less of themselves watching the euphoria. How many marriages and relationships were wrecked because, some of us got mad that our partners were not doing enough. If you were one of them, take a minute and SLAP YOUR SELF!

Some girl you know, just had a flamboyant wedding and while she is feeling miserable that it was all her money, with little or no support from her husband, you’re also feeling miserable because your wedding was nothing compared to hers, despite your husband’s total support? SLAP YOUR SELF!

Someone is living in a bigger house than yours and while they can’t sleep at night because EFCC or the bank might just show up, park them out and grab their collateral, you too can’t sleep at night because you feel they are better off than you? SLAP YOUR SELF!

Your friends have their kids in the most expensive schools and while they are dying of hypertensive heart disease over school fees, you’re having same health challenge because you can’t take your mind off the fact that, you can’t afford that school for your kids? SLAP YOUR SELF!

Your friends sleep around, loan and steal money from their offices, to fund the annual vacation and while they are restless the entire vacation, because a huge debt or query awaits them, you’re also restless when you see their vacation pics on social media? SLAP YOUR SELF!

All your friends are married or in a relationship and while they have lost their self value because they settled for less than they deserved, you’ve lost same too because, you feel they’re more deserving? SLAP YOUR SELF!

The slay queen or king on your timeline won’t stop posting pictures of their designers clothes, hair, shoes, bags and jewelries and while they have slept with half the men and women in town, running and hiding from debtors, you’re running and hiding too because, you feel you’re not presentable? SLAP YOUR SELF!

Things do not always appear the way they are. Never loose a wink of sleep on what you see on social media. You’ll never know the length people go to paint a happy and successful picture. Quit allowing yourself suffer their predicament by buying into the lies. And even if they were true, focus on your life. Have a dream and work towards it. Everything you need will come to you in time. Everyone’s timing is not the same. Slow and steady wins the race. If you rush in, you’ll be rushed out!

N/B; Most of the very rich, happy and successful people like, Bill Gates, Mark Zuck, Oprah Winfrey, Dangote don’t flaunt it on social media because they know who they are, and don’t seek your validation.

So tell me, how many times did you SLAP YOUR SELF?

African Oppression- Former Nigerian Finance Minister

I was going through one of my favorite blogs and saw throw back pictures of Nigeria. I thought time was supposed to help us grow. But from those pictures I realize this cannot be said for Nigeria. The rot and decadency is our system is a story for another day.

Then among those pictures is one that really got to me. Man on man oppression is common but is usually frowned against especially when the race or tribe is different. But then this picture is dark. Really, what can I say. A minister of finance of Nigeria would show extravagance by buying too many yards of a material and have someone carry the excess around his neck like a leash as seen in the picture below.

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Flanked by a wife that saw nothing wrong with this attitude or show of power and affluence by leashing another human being like a dog. A generation was born here. One that saw the display of power and affluence only through the oppression of another man.

Our corrupt governance is about individuals in government who would rather amass wealth illegally so they can oppress those they steal from. Politician’s are desperate and want to keep their positions or get a seat solely for the reason to enrich themselves and use this wealth to oppress the rest.

They travel to developed countries and enjoy the social amenities but refuse to bring such development to their country because the more comfortable the citizens become the more they start demanding for accountability which they can’t give because this means jail time.

Unfortunately, until very recently. All one needs to oppress another person in this country is money. Late last year this guy was arrested for attending a wedding party with “human dogs” He had leashed two women who go in front of him like his dogs and parades them around as such.

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What the f* ! this guy is only 30years old. May be he is the grandson of the minister in the above picture Lol. But on a serious note, when a young man who should believe and think differently in a way that shows there is future for this country but still behaves like the minister from 1960s begs to question.

Is there hope for Nigerian youths. Do we have a shot at learning how to treat ourselves well. If we treat ourselves like animals why would any race or citizen of another country treat us better?

 

 

 

Why I gave up.

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See I don’t kid myself o. I am not your classic worrier. I’m an addictive worrier. As in I feel worried for not having anything to worry about. As I write I’m shaking my head literally for myself at the pitiable state I find myself.

Up till yesterday I worry that this recession would hit so bad that it will become unbearable and I started chatting with an elderly friend but luckily I couldn’t  infect her with my negativity. She was like. Well the world is coming undone anyways. In my mind I was like WHAT! HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE!! EVERYTHING IS COMING TO SHIT!!!

She smiled and said, you worry too much especially over issues you have no control over. Why not focus on what you can change and pretend as if everything else is well. Then I thought to myself. True why can’t I focus on what I can control.

So I got home last night to realize I have an almost full pot of stew with no meat in it. I don’t have money to spear cooking another pot of meat and I know the meat was consumed without discretion by my good self Lol. so I decided, what da hell! at least I get to eat meat tonight I’ll let tomorrow worry about itself. Or isn’t that what we are thought in bible school.

Jesus said in Mathew 6:34 So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own

Honestly as this scripture came to mind, I just smiled to myself. How many times have I heard this, how many times have I read quotes and wise sayings about worrying but still decided to worry anyway. So last night taking my first baby steps, I took heed to those words.

Covering my pot full of stew but no meat I told myself. Not tonight girl, you have enough for today don’t let tomorrow’s worry bother you till tomorrow. I still don’t have money to buy meat o. But I’m so glad I could at least look the other way on this one.

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So I give up worrying. And as a chronic worrier I pray I can continue to live by faith rather than by sight. Is it a bad idea to ask for a support group to help me go through actualizing my dream to someday stop worrying about how sad the world is?

I wanted to care but…

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I have written a short post today and it’s surprisingly going well. Who are you people reading this Bull shit stuff I write with no editing and even taking time to like the post?

Ah! don’t get me wrong. I love the attention and the likes is a confirmation that someone is snooping in my journal you know. Well maybe I’m just weird and different. But…

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Sigh so I wanted to say a quick shout out to those who have liked my first two posts (though I still find it strange that someone will find time to read this my writing) but, thank you Ashleya Nicole @ https://ashleyanicole.com/ Your website is beautiful, you are a dotcom site and even do DIY stuff!  and you have a freebie right now! how cool is that. Yes do me I do you. You asked for this when you liked my very first post. Lol.

What were you thinking Tetiana Aleksina! It wasn’t even up to a minute yet and you’ve read and liked my second post! who are you? Well I checked you up too and woa! how can you have such a beautiful blog and huge followers and still have time to read my post? your blog is AWE – SOME and while I’m even still looking round your page I’m humbled by your passing bye.

Okay Makeitultra, why can’t I view your site? is it down or something. I will really love to see your blog too but as the name suggest I’m sure it will be an extra special site. and I say and ultra thank you for liking my post too. I will continue to try and view your page and update this post with your blog link too.

So I was able to view your blog finally. You’re a SHRINK! okay, first of all I love love your choice of pictures and thought you are a great photographer. Then I started seeing all the inspire and motivate posts. then your profile says you’re working towards your PHD! (I’m still struggling with having a masters degree) then on top of it I find out you are as good looking as your brain and words. Aww! I’m so day dreaming… Sorry. Before I run off track. Thank you for visiting my site and liking my post. You are doing good work on your site and I wish you well on your journey to holding a Phd (One I hope to earn too someday in future)

In the mean time, I thought I shouldn’t publish another post today. I was thinking I should have a routine and list of topics. Then again I remembered. This is supposed to be the Journal of a Nigerian girl. who cares how many times I write or not in a day. Who cares if I say thank you on the very first post or to the millionth subscriber.

I’m just glad I get this opportunity to write again without caring one beat.

What is Valentine’s day?

imagesNot to rain mess on your parade, but let’s face it. Somebody gave his life for another like hundred years ago. As in he died for a cause. So forgive me if I don’t really think we should honour his memory of a horrifying death by having random sex and buying things we cannot afford just to impress someone we don’t really care about (not in all cases though).

On my way to work this morning I can’t help but notice all the “red” in the air and I wonder. Is this a blood sign or love sign now. Many jokes have being circulating social media about how today is expensive for the masculine gender. How guys should call for boycott or how the female gender should be ready to pay back tonight.

I mean this sounds crazy. I’m in a loving relationship but still don’t believe in celebrating Saint Valentine this way. If you truly love your partner shouldn’t everyday be a new chance at celebrating your love life? is the sacrifice you make for each other. The just because gifts or thoughts you have towards each other not a sign of true love?

It becomes more annoying when children are told to wear red and white to school on this day. Please enlighten me. Do teachers gather the children round today telling them the story of a virtuous priest who gave his life for a couple? What is a red and white dress supposed to mean to a young girl? aren’t we propagating a culture of vanity and reducing love to a gift box?

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Oh well what do I know? but if you ask me, I’d say love is an everyday event, if you find it cherish it. If you are still searching keep your heart open and never give up. But really there is no greater love than that of Christ exemplified again and through history the story of TRUE lovers like Saint Valentine who will give up his own life for someone else’s happiness. So before you jump into bed with that person ask yourself what Valentine is really about…