SOCIETAL PRESSURES.


This is Africa and if anything is a constant from north to south, east to west Africa is the pressure on a woman to get married at a certain age. 

If you don’t? You’re seen as a “failure” no matter what you achieve outside of marriage. Not just that though, any success she accrue is seen as a direct hand down from a sugar daddy. 

The perception that a woman can be smart and successful is lost in our society and everything she owns or achieves is consequently seen as a gift of her having a Virginia or a sexy body.

If eventually she gets married? People starts talking about her having children. Sometimes even the husband pressures her for not getting pregnant (meanwhile sometimes that man may be the infertile partner). It is just believed generally that immediately a woman gets married the next thing is to start bearing children.

My colleague and I were joking around on our way to work. When a matter of another colleague who had just put to bed came up. Next thing he said is we are coming to your house next for a naming. Then I said Amen. Next thing he said was, it’s not a matter of amen, I give you till next year to invite us for your child’s naming ceremony. I was taken aback and spat out. What!

He looked at me, surprised that I was shocked then said well you’ve been married for a few months now don’t you think its time to have children. Is that not the reason for marriage? It took me a few moments to put myself together and reply (now really angry). 

Me: Nope, child bearing is not the reason for getting married. Companionship is. What are they teaching you in those churches you people attend?

Colleague: ehehn, is it not compaionship that leads to pregnancy?

Me: Nope, sex leads to pregnancy

Colleague: well, me I know one of the reasons for marriage is to have children.

Now completely irritated I responded.

marriage is for companionship not child bearing. Children however, are blessings of marriage. Besides I don’t need to be married to have children. But mostly marriage gives you a stable relationship, a promise that someone will have your back through good and bad times. But these days even a vow of marriage may not be good enough to have a partner through the thin, ill and even poverty of life.

At the end of the day, you’ve sometimes got to get your own back. So stop watching my womb you womb watcher and mind your goddamn business. 

I hissed, facing away from him I was still spewing anger on my face. My body reverberated and the chilly wind hit my face sending chills down my spine. 


This is me hugging myself not sure if its from the cool breeze or anger I still felt from my guts….

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QUEEN OF KATWE

Trailer
Finally, I watched Queen of Katwe last night, and I have this to say about the movie…

Based on a true life story, it was emotionally chargring whispers (I shed a few tears while watching). The reality of poverty all over Africa was layed bear. The reality of how hunger and homelessness as driven bright African minds into despair, into believing they can never become something came at the fore front of the movie.

What about the coach? He was a symbol of hope, of what determination and self drive could achieve but even he’s would be a fascinating story of how ones destiny can change completely when we allow our inner man show us the way. A struggling orphan who sort redemption from poverty in being the best engineer Ugandan could boast of. Became a chess coach to the country’s least privileged children. 

Uneducated though they were, he became an extraordinary teacher, seeking, developing and encouraging one of the brightest minds in the history of the board game.


The movie also brings to our conciousness, that there are different parts in life. Each step , every single action we take will lead us down the road we may or may not desire. Phiona Mutesi, chose like her brother the part of chess and education. This eventually brought her family freedom from penury and world wide fame.


Queen of Katwe is the story of struggle, self discovery, small victories that gave way for bigger ones whilst building the confidence of a downtrodden child. It is also the story of how sometimes a detour can show our true desire and help us find our true place in life.

The full movie is on you tube. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

https://youtu.be/WvY_SnJeqdw

LINE OF THE ASSES.

Okay, I know I don’t talk much about my day job but I love it. The analysis that comes with the job, reporting, risk analysis. 

Oh! I have the best job in the world. But I don’t talk much about it because, well I like to think of this blog as another aspect of my life.

An aspect I love as much as my day job though I’m unable to blog as much as I’d love to. 

So we were having this meeting and honestly I was concentrating and taking mental notes (I hating using writing pads). 

The meeting ended, and just as everybody got up to get back to their desks, I caught an unholy sight. Lol.

Some women have got asses! Damn!

I’m not talking, fake ass like dem Nicky Minaj’s pair. I’m talk real, raw, gigantic natural African asses. Kim Kadarshian’s or beyonce’s got nothing on them.

I don’t have anything near the smallest pair of ass in the picture above, but trust me I like women with some flesh on top of their legs. Eheh!

While the assful lady on the far right looks like her Burgundy covered ass could replace a mug holder, the middle wide ass in polka dots looks sexy on a woman who’s had three kids. The best look on the picture (personal opinion) is the tightly sitted pair in striped dress. 

Chai! Sometimes I feel like I understand men who drool when they look at endowed women because hell I drool too sometimes.


  

CHANGING LIVES

I did a short post on social media yesterday about a colleague and friend. Until I posted it, I felt I was only writing about a colleague.

Then it hit me, I don’t have to wait to miss, loseor be operated from a colleague, friend or family member before I can appreciate them. 

Because of this simple social media message, I have decided to reflect on my relationships and hope some good will come out of it.

TRUTH


It’s a bright Friday morning. The clear skies brings to my consciousness what transparency looks like. 

It’s beautiful.

We are familiar with the sentence don’t lie to me; just tell me the truth. However, unready we are to hear that truth…

I remember discovering something about someone and didn’t know how to tell the affected party who was my friend that she’s being lied to. Eventually I told her what I had found out, but it cost me my friend.


Most times truth comes at a cost. What I’ve discovered however is that it doesn’t have to be bitter every time we say it.

Knowing the painful power of truth, it is important that when we decide to speak it, it should be with empathy, love and care for the person we speak to.

Jesus is one person known to have spoken the truth at all times. While he hurt the egos of most Pharisees. He was able to speak truth with compassion and love to the Samaritan woman at the well. 

He spoke so kindly that she felt the power of is words and was drawn to it to the point that she went about spreading the news of Jesus’ presence in her village.

Let’s also recall Jesus conversation with the apostles during the last super. Though he informed, Peter will betray him, he also told all, that he as prayed for him. He didn’t go attacking Peter with the truth about his weakness. He spoke to him out of a place of pity and understanding of his human weakness.

All that being said, we have an example in Christ. The truth does not change even when we use a little love in dishing it out.

ONE WORD.

I started becoming anxious about something yesterday. Before going to bed my husband tried to console me. Then he asked a bothersome question think well about now. Once your worry is over how do you want to remember today, this moment.
Trying to get myself to sleep I remembered the scripture

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.Matt 6:34 (NIV)

That was when I realised I wanted to capture my life in this one word. “LIVE”

I want to look back on every moment satisfied that I did my best per time and lived every moment in the best possible way.

I have enough regret in life as it is. Wishing I had gone on more trips without worrying too much about finances. I wished I had invested and built more sources of income.

Looking back was when I discovered I had more money than I should be worried about but I was too worried to see the blessings I had and hence didn’t live my life I just existed. Looking back now I realise life is to be lived and not worried over at the end of the day I will be alright.

I’ve made my choice. The question is now yours. What one word will qualify you?
Live or Exist?

CALL

Telephone rings are not taken for granted this days. We’ll use a favourite song or trending song as ring tune. Others will specify the ring tune to indicate the particular person calling. A family member, a loved one or someone we’ll rather avoid all together.

Though a few of us like myself would prefer the vibrate alert for calls and messages. As long as you own a phone you would definitely get alerted when someone is calling your number, sent a voice mail or message.

The same is with our inner man. First we all are born with a conscience. A little voice that convicts us of sin. Not a timid sound. But a cool well thought out good version of us. You may hear it in the voice of a loved one, an elderly person, a friend, mentor or even religious leader.

However, at baptism (baptism by fire -holy spirit). A more decisive ring tune is discovered. As you walk, talk and listen to God in your inner self, we start recognising that voice more and more. We Begin to understand how our heavenly phone works.

The apps available on the direct line starts to appear more clearly. Like we may discover the dream app like Joseph did.

Now Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers they hated him even more.ESV Gen 37:5

Or the revelation app like John the apostle. Even the instinct of Modecai is sharpened as we keep growing in constant communication with the father.

Like a child learns to recognize the voice of its parent so do we start recognising God’s call in our daily lives.

This voice starts directing our decisions and actions to the point were we become a rallying point for others. A pointer of direction for crucial decisions because they see us as wise.

eAt Gibeon fthe Lord appeared to Solomongin a dream by night, and God said, “Ask what I shall give you.” And Solomon said, “You have shown great and steadfast love to your servant David my father, because hhe walked before you in faithfulness, in righteousness, and in uprightness of heart toward you. And you have kept for him this great and steadfast love and ihave given him a son to sit on his throne this day. And now, O Lord my God,jyou have made your servant king in place of David my father, kalthough I am but a little child. I do not know lhow to go out or come in.mAnd your servant is in the midst of your people whom you have chosen, a great people, ntoo many to be numbered or counted for multitude. oGive your servant therefore an understanding mind pto govern your people, that I may qdiscern between good and evil, for who is able to govern this your great people?”

10 It pleased the Lord that Solomon had asked this. 11 And God said to him, “Because you have asked this, and have not asked for yourself long life or riches or the life of your enemies, but have asked for yourself understanding to discern what is right, 12 behold, rI now do according to your word. Behold, sI give you a wise and discerning mind, so that none like you has been before you and none like you shall arise after you. 1kings 3:5-12. ESV.

That is when we get a glimpse of who we are/meant to be and the possibilities that lay ahead.

We! Are the salt of the world, the light of the world.

Yes! We have being called by the father to give sweet taste to this bitter world. To light up our universe. We are being “called” daily to respond to who we are meant to be…

You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet. Matt: 5:13 ESV

STOP FUCKING YOURSELF!

I like the page goalcast on Facebook.

Last week I saw a random video from the page about how Adele came to be. She never even inspired to become famous, her goal was to work with people who wanted to become famous.
If you’ve not seen the video here it is.

But for her friend who posted her video online. Adele may never have become as famous as she is today. But for her love life that went south she may never have written such a beautiful song as “someone like you”.

So guys I’m keeping it shorttoday. It is really time to stop fucking yourself over.

Live life, embrace your erorrs, be the best version of yourself, follow your passion cos you know not where it may lead you.

EVIL DWELLS HERE

I can’t keep but think back to when I was an evil minded child. I hated the cry of babies. I wasn’t sympathetic towards those helpless beings at all. In fact I thought them to be attention seekers.

My hatred for infants knew no bounds as a child. However, at the back of my mind I always thought if I armed any of them babies I may grow up regretting it. I may grow up to realise I love them and won’t be able to forgive my younger self. This sort of restrained me from actually carrying out my hatred for babies.

Fast forward to present day. I have come to understand that because the devil was thrown out from a place of elevation to this world. We all have become vulnerable to being a dwelling place to either God or satan.

A child is tabula-rasa. Though clean, they are also susceptible to the worst kind of evil. What an individual chooses to allow in his mind will determine what kind of adults we become.

There is a reason Jesus referred to his body as the “temple” not minding the large and luxurious temple built by human hands. 

There’s a reason Apostle Paul talks about edifying our spirit with good and heavenly things because these things matter.
In building up a strong spirit, full of goodness and humane character we need to feed our minds and body with healthy and good food, informatoon and even clothing. The kind of music you listen to, movies you watch, books you read all add up to the kind and quality of dreams your mind can conceive.

Have you watched a scary movie and found it difficult to sleep? Yea, but its just a movie isn’t it? 

If all you hear and read about are bad things, wars, death of people. Racial/ ethnic clashes. Its only a matter of time before you become an angry, bitter individual. If on the other hand you eat healthy, listen to good inspiring music and stories. Watch movie that elevate you and hold positive discussions, even the most pessimistic person will start seeing something good in this life.

This is the beginning of a new week. Let the voice of Apostle Paul resound in our heart and ears. Let it be a reminder to only allow good dwell in us and direct our actions because Evil dwells here too. But we should never allow ourselves be the house/temple for it.

MIND OVER MATTER- GOD FIRST.

Being a christian is easy. As in you give your life to a very powerful Almighty God and no evil can prevail over you. 
Giving our lives to God is a simple insurance policy. It means;

No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the LORD. Isaiah 54:17 (NIV)

It also means;

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1 (NIV).

Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-15399F" data-link="(F)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;Psalm 91:3-4 (NIV).

A thousand may fall at your side,

    ten thousand at your right hand,

    but it will not come near you.

You will only observe with your eyes

    and see the punishment of the wicked.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-15404J" data-link="(J)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”

    and you make the Most High your dwelling,

10 no harm<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-15406K" data-link="(K)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”> will overtake you,

    no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-15407L" data-link="(L)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>concerning you

    to guard you in all your ways;<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-15407M" data-link="(M)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>

12 they will lift you up in their hands,

    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-15408N" data-link="(N)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>

13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;

    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-15409O" data-link="(O)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>

14 “Because he<span class="footnote" data-fn="#fen-NIV-15410b" data-link="[b]” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>[b] loves me,” says theLord, “I will rescue him;

    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;

    I will be with him in trouble,

    I will deliver him and honor him.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-15411P" data-link="(P)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>

16 With long life<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-15412Q" data-link="(Q)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”> I will satisfy him

    and show him my salvation.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-15412R" data-link="(R)” style=”font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; vertical-align: top;”>” Psalm 91:7-16

Then it means; 

The blessing of the LORD makes a person rich, and he adds no sorrow with it. Proverbs 10:22 

All these blessings, protection and security abound if we make the decision to make God first and centre of our lives.

Fortunately, many of us have taken the first step in deciding to be followers of Christ some have even gone further to be preacher and propagator of the word. But these blessings and promises are not tied to our words, our profession of being followers. They are tied to our actions, our daily decision to choose God over our senses.

Sometimes, we may feel stagnant believing God as left us to our own vices. We may even feel/hear God calling us to a life we thought demeaning. A spouse you may think you don’t love, a job you feel is beneath you. 

If we always choose God over our senses. We will find the truth and reality of Gods promises for us. We will find fulfilment in that assignment he as given us. Find true love and peace in our marriages. Find wealth in health and material things and even enlarge your coast. 

All is dependent on one thing “CHOOSE GOD ALWAYS” in our daily decision.

Let me leave you with one last scriptural quote. 

Do not be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters! Every good gift and every perfect present comes from heaven; it comes down from God, the Creator of the heavenly lights, who does not change or cause darkness by turning. James 1:16‭-‬17 GNB