LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX BABY

I saw my first period later than many of my friends, i believe i was well into my teenage years before it finally came (guess I’m a later bloomer). It was not shocking because prior to that I’ve heard plenty first time stories from friends and cousins and I’d watched an episode of this on I Need To Know – a family oriented TV series at the time starring Funke Akindele aka Jennifer.

That was my first encounter with the talented actress. Her character (Bisi) played out so naturally that I could relate with the girl I watched so religiously. So when I experienced my period it was like walking a path I was already familiar with.

Thinking back on the TV series that influenced me while growing I can surely say the major sex education, I had growing up was through I need to know series. Why? Well, safe to say I was brought up in a very conservative Nigerian home. My dad is very shy to even use the word sex in any sentence. E.g instead of saying someone is sleeping around he’d say ” she’s uselessing herself” Lol. Uselessing bawo! He’s very uncomfortable talking about sex so no sex education from him sorry. He’d just keep saying “don’t useless yourself” lwkm. That was the sum total of sex education I got from him.

While I understand, talking sex with your daughter can be awkward, I’m certain my father is incapable of giving even a male teenager sex education because my brother got none from him either. Sigh.

And my mom? Oh well, any time the topic comes up she always has one statement. “A boy will just ‘sex’ you and leave you pregnant” lol. Or the only thing a boy wants from you is to sex you o tan! In fact i remember going to my mum when i first saw my period. (All i wanted was to ask for money to buy some sanitary towels) but nope my mum that never gave any form of sex education before then decided that was the best time to put the fear of God in me. She sat me down and said “now you have become a woman, you cannot play with boys any longer because ones they touch you like this (tapping me on the arm) you will become pregnant and that is it no more school for you. You will start, fetching water and washing dishes for his mum and become their slave” mhen ! that scared the shit out of me.

The thought that my life will literally end just because a boy touched me was terrifying. She gave me a pack of pads that day though but I became seriously boy-o-phobic from that moment. In my mind boys became my immediate enemy . But guess what? That very week, a boy playing ball accidentally hit and fell on me on a field. Omg I’m pregnant!!! …

Weeks passed and I kept checking my belly, eventually after more than two months I knew for sure I wasn’t pregnant. I was relieved, but then I also knew I was lied to. I won’t get pregnant because a boy touches my arm. No! It’s gats to be more than that. And that was when I became very curious.

Unfortunately, there was no one to ask what the truth was. If I tried asking a teacher then, I would be suspected for more than curiosity.

Funny enough, the topic came up in one of our subjects. I was elated, thinking finally i would get an answer to my unspoken questions. It was time for class as I heaved a sigh of relieve knowing for sure my questions will be answered in this class…

I ended up doing an assignment on classifying a list in Asexual, Bisexual, Heterosexual blah blah blah. Arrrgh. The lesson had nothing to do with my questions. There is no teen class or teen church section in my church maybe if there was I would have had answers. So at this point in my life till a few years later, I had my hormones raging mates, sibling, cousins and luckily the TV show to learn everything I knew about being a teenager, having boy friend, setting relationship boundaries, sex and generally social functioning.

Thinking back to those days I believe I can say “I need to know” saved me. It brought me the kind of education I could not get from home, school, my mates or church and saved me from getting the wrong kind of education. I became wise and was able to make the right decisions just because I was able to have access to this show/ information.

These days I see many TV series are based on super hero stories which I find interesting and entertaining, but I wonder who is breaching the gap, which TV series is addressing adolescence and sexual issues for the new generation, who is answering burning questions our homes and religious houses have refused to answer leaving teenagers and young adult to their own devise.

Hmm, writing this makes me feel the need to start teen class or social group that will give correct information about sex especially. It was hard enough in my teens. In this age of over information I can only imagine how lucky this generation of youths are. Yet I fear for the quality and type of information (fake news/ fake info) they are getting for burning questions.

What was your experience as a teen?

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MANAGING STRESS – LEISURE TIME

Another thing I learnt is to loosen up. But hey! How could I have loosened up ehn! I’m out of the house at 5am and won’t be back till 8pm. My Saturdays are strictly for catching up on sleep where as before now my Saturdays used to be lined up with parties, events around Lagos where I’ve met wonderful people and learnt new things and hanging out with friends!

I realise going out and having fun is good for me. Unlike me, my husband always finds energy to go partying and hanging out. No wonder he is not falling ill like me.

Now, I know it’s time to find my dancing shoes, check up on event brite (www.eventbrite.com) see events around Lagos that interest me, go there meet new people and learn new things. Who knew these activities where helpful. I used to do it just to fill my time with interesting things to boost my creativity and just enjoy life taking it a day at a time.

Today, I’ve decided to go back to old habit. Finding fun and catching it. I’ve got only one life why not live in the present, enjoy the trip? And save stories for my children and grand children???

BACK TO WORK – MORE SLEEP

Yas! I resumed today, though my body is still just getting out of bed, my mind is at my desk ready to work magic with my brain and fingers. Ehehe

But I’m keeping in mind that stress is bad for my health so I’ll do what I can not to be anxious or overwhelmed about my work load.

This week i will share what I’ve learned about managing stress and how i intend making life changes in line with my findings.

I hope this helps motivate you make the same choice so we all can live less stressfully.

SLEEP;

Top on my list is making sure I get more sleep. After living close to work as a single lady, living and loving my life as an employee with a 9-5 job and a hubby blogger, to been married and taking a 4/6hour daily trip to/from work, working 8hours and sleeping less than 6hours on the average.

My usual sleep routine is, I get home at 8pm prepare and eat dinner around 9.30 then go to bed immediately so I can at least get 6hours sleep which obviously is not enough. For this reason, my husband and I have started house hunting so we can live closer to work and have more rest/more sleep.

If you’re currently wearing this shoe, let’s do this hunting together, let’s get more rest. On the other hand you can seek a transfer to a branch close to where you live (if your company is widely spread).

Remember, one of the ways to grow your business/ career is to be healthy. A healthy body can be more creative and productive. Don’t take your beauty rest for granted.

Credit: All image quotes are from google images

IT CAN ONLY GET BETTER

This year has been the most sickly of years for me in like more than fifteen years. Seriously! The worst I’ve had are quick day trips to the hospital, injections and medicines that make me feel like dying, but then I usually get better. Not this time though. Not this year.

Of the four months already spent this year I can say I’ve shared it fairly between work and hospitals. Drugs suddenly became my friend (I hate drugs with passion, my throat always constrict even when I see a syrup). But this year has been the worst so far.

Right now I’m writing from my sick bed. But somehow, I’ve been able to focus mental energy to doing something I love, something I’d always do if I get the chance for free or for money it doesn’t really matter.

These pasts days especially as got me thinking about what I really want from life. True I want to be financially free, but now that I’m thinking of it I wonder at what cost do I want this money? With all the stress and daily wahala that’s causing me to break down every now and then I realise my wallet is still like onions that makes me cry each time I open it. Lol

But seriously, I just wonder why all the work has not yet paid off. Am I running the wrong race? Am I chasing after the wrong things.

When my doctor saw me last Friday his expression was like that of “You Again!” then he smiled and said you seem to enjoy staying here. Stress is killing you madam and you’re letting it. My head dropped, knowing somehow I have allowed my life to be about work only, like I live to work not work to live.

So I started researching how to reduce stress. I’ve reached out to someone who can help coach me out of this unhealthy lifestyle.

True, I’ve been eating healthy thinking that will keep me out of the clinic but it’s obviously more than that.

I hope as I explore the alternatives, while still chasing money. Lol, I’ll be healthy enough to share my experience on how I’ve been able to cope with stress, while building a meaningful life.

But in the mean time. Let me share my thoughts on money, life and good health with this quotes that represents my current state of mind. I hope this encourages you too to look inward and make positive adjustment (s) before its too late.

Credit: all quotes are from Google image

IS THIS TALENT?

I know I’ve been away for a while now. But not this time I said to myself, not again. 

I won’t wake up on a Monday morning like this and my first post of the year will be about why I’ve been away, how I’ve been struggling to write or if I even want to write again. 

Like I’ve written before in one of my posts (that I’m to lazy to find and refer to) that I won’t be giving excuses again about been absent because I’ll try to always be here writing about one thing or the other. And another post that (I’m still too lazy to refer to) that I’m posting for myself and not for views/reads.

Sigh, now I’m sounding defensive. Hey! Issa Monday morning and I’ve been thinking about parable of the talents. It’s not confusing but it’s been biting hard at me. 

(Yawn) mehn even this post is early for me. Few people think I can sing, but does this mean I’m supposed to pursue a career in music? Does being a musician only entail having a good voice? Some people think I can write well. Is this even a talent if it is, am I still supposed to become a published author while pursuing a music career? 

(Another yawn) seriously I’m still in holiday mood, I don’t think it’s fair that I have to go to work this morning but I need the money. I’m concerned though if this is the job for me. 

If I can sing and write why am I safely tucking my life away in an employed zone. Will God judge me for not becoming a musician or writer at the end of my life.

I’m so sleepy and confused right now. But nobody comments on my posts so maybe I’m just talking to myself wondering if the universe will hear me and send me answers.

If you’ve at least taken time to read through Thump’s up. You do well. But you also need to pounder this. 

Do you have abilities, are they talents, what are we supposed to do with them?

See you when I see you.

LIFE CHANGERS

Thank you guys for hanging in there with me all week long. Reading and following every post. 

This week, I’ll be exploring the world of fruits. These life changers can be the reason you don’t see a doctor for a long long time so I believe it’s worth learning a few things about.

Before getting into it though there are two rules to taking fruits.

Rule 1: Fruits should be eaten before meal or on an empty stomach. It is always better to eat fruits before a meal because the fibre content in fruits slows down digestion, making it slower for your system to digest food when eaten after a meal.

Rule 2: Don’t eat fruits because its the fad. Eat it for your health. That been said, your intention for eating should be known as well as your health condition. For example, fruits like banana or pineapple are higher in natural sugar than in fibre. Because of this, these fruits will spike your blood sugar need i remind you that this could be dangerous for someone who is diabetic.

Okay, now that we’ve gotten the rules out. I will be sharing fruit recipes, mixtures, juices and even smoothies all week long and i really hope you’d enjoy this week as much as I know i would. 

If you have any questions , put it in the comment area and I’d do my best to answer as best as I can. 

Remember, both the teacher and student are learners. I’ll keep updating posts as new research results come in. I don’t want to be that teacher that’s stuck in old ways only teaching what used to be.

Have a fruitful week!

SIX GREATEST 6- SOUR LEMON

Lime/ lemon are commonly known as natural birth control. They are generally known for its herbal properties though lemons are thought to be very strong to the point that they can cause miscarriages or abortions. 

So why on earth am I including this in the list of six great adds to diet. Let’s examine sour lemon a little more closely.

Benefits

Rich is Vitamins B6 and C. They also hold potassium, folate and limonene.

Anti cancer: the Limonene in lime/lemon is a very powerful antioxidant known to kill cancerous cells.

Detoxifier: lime/lemon is such a strong detoxifier that if you’re having a burning feet all you need do is add lemon to warm water and use it to soak your feet. The lemons juice will soak into your feet through your pores and relief you of the burning sensation.

Treatment of cholera: lime is known to kill cholera strand Bacilli. Drink a mixture of lime and water (half water half lime) daily if there’s an epidemic. If you’ve caught it already, the mixture will help relive you in no time.

Reliefs constipation: if you have constipation get a glass of warm water, add honey and lime. Drink the whole glass to aid digestion and relief you of a full hard belly.

Helps you relax: get home tired? Get a bowl of warm water, add lime juice and soak your legs. The astringent sensation will help relax you and aid you in getting a deeper sleep.

Reliefs gum ache: if you’re experiencing gum pain take a glass of water add lime juice and a pinch of salt to gaggle, it will relief the pain. You can also use that White inner part of the lime to rub your gum for same effect.

Reliefs heartburn: lemon juice in a glass of warm water should be drunk to relief heartburn.

Reduces body odour: because lime/ lemon has high Vitamin C concentration it helps reduce body odour when taken orally (drink the juice, or mix with little water)

Treats arthritis: lime is rich in citric acid. And citric acid is a great solvent for uric acid (the main cause of arthritis) because arthritis is a build up of uric acid in a persons joint. Taking lime juice can improve how much more of this waste product leaves your body helping you have one less pain to deal with.

Great preservative: more often than not I’ve used lime to make my home made smoothies last longer without refrigeration. 

Although, lime/lemon have not had a good reputation. It’s one of the greatest inclusion we can have in our diet. Just writing about it now makes my mouth tingle. Lol.

Please not that though I’ve used lime and lemon interchangeably in this posts they are different fruits with similar properties. 

Also if you are treating malaria with pharmaceutical drugs don’t take lime or lemon as it will reduce the potency if the drugs you’re using. After treating yourself though, you can drink as many lemonade as your stomach can contain.

Woa! So that’s it! We’ve come to the end of the Six greatest. Thank you so much for reading each of the greatest series. If you missed any, don’t worry just click on the home button and enjoy the entire series free. 

However, I’d also like to state that as good as all these are as an addition to diet some people are allergic to onions, or honey, or other things. Don’t feel pressured to follow the fad manage your allergies and maybe in the near future I’d writing about suitable alternatives that’ll help you get same benefit without fear of an allergy.

SIX GREATEST 5-PEPPERS FOR LONGEVITY

Another Yoruba saying is “the mouth that does not eat pepper is a life threatened with doom” in Yoruba culture peppers are believe to give human longevity so let’s take a look at why this culture thinks highly of peppers and if its worthy of being on the list of greatest six.

Rich! Just the word to qualify not just any power food but pepper. Pepper is rich in Vitamins A and C and folic acid. They also spice up our food to bring more satisfaction from eating. Isnt that rich?

Weight Loss: yea you read right, peppers are great for losing weight.

Capsaicin found in hot peppers increase metabolism and reduces appetite hence they help us lose weight.

Improved night vision: because of the vitamin A loaded in especially red peppers, taking it will help improve night vision and make your eyes clearer.

Helps cure vitiligo: according to London researchers, black pepper is rich in pipeline which helps the body stimulate melanocytes pigmentation that helps the body treat vitiligo. In alternative medicine, pipeline is used in combination with UV light to treat this condition rather than the use of harsher checmicals.

Its can be used as an expectorant: black peppers in Ayurvesic practices are used to treat cold and cough. They are also used to relief sinusitis, nasal congestion and phelgm because of its expectorant properties.

Transporter: peppers are a great addition to our food in that they help transport the benefits of other food herbs/items we need to different parts of our body.

Prevents asthma and whooping cough: because of its expectorant qualities, peppers help prevent asthma and whooping cough.

Relief ulcers: peppers have antioxidant and antiinflammatory properties thereby making it very active in reliving peptic ulcers.

Toothache/tooth decay: especially black peppers are used in treating both too ache and tooth decay.

I had to rush through the benefits of peppers. Somehow, I believe we get the gist sha. Learning so much about the benefit of pepper today opened my eyes to a world of possibilities. If Yoruba’s take pepper seriously we know why that is now and as we continue the week I hope we’ll include more pepper in our diet. 

However, this study just made me realise how much more we need to learn to be healthy. I hope someday I’d be able to come up with useful recipes that will be beneficial for our health.

SIX GREATEST 4 – SWEET HONEY

There is a saying in Yoruba “none ever tasted honey and spat it out” honey is arguably the sweetest naturally occurring thing ever!

We often heard the phase “if its sweet, its bad” good news though is sweet honey is perfect for you.

BENEFITS

Fights Allergies: honey is rich in antioxidants, sodium chloride, iron, calcium and some enzymes. Because honey contains small amount of pollen in them, they are great for improving immune system and fighting off allergies. Honey acts as a natural vaccination against allergies like cold, running nose…

Power food: how many times have you felt really tired after a meal and all you want is drag out a mattress and have a sweet sleep. How many times has your alarm rang only for you to respond with a groan in your throat. 

Well, honey is a good energy booster because it is rich in carbohydrates and this breaks down faster than the heavy meal we may have just had. One teaspoon of natural honey in a glass of water will do the trick.

Memory booster: honey rich antioxidant feeds the brain and keeps it in tip top shape. As we grow older honey helps our brain and memory age slower and maintains it in good condition.

Treatment for cough: I understand that palm oil and sugar is popular for treating coughs and no doubt effective (I’ve used the combination myself). But instead of consuming sugar, why not switch it up a lil, lets make our home remedy healthier by using honey instead of sugar.

Two teaspoons of honey and lemon juice mixture is a great way to stop that cough. Honey when taken to relieve cough will reduce inflammation and also serve as a protective film over the irritating area(WHO)

Helps you sleep: I see different kinds of sleepless hastags on social media #sleeplessinlagos #icantsleep #insomiaismyfriend… Many people have difficulty sleeping. For this kind of people honey would be perfect as a dietary inclusion to help them relax and sleep better at night.

No I’m not crazy, this is how honey helps you sleep.

Honey contains a substance called serotonin which is an addition to the one released by the brain when you take honey. You see because honey is sweet, taking it makes your body insulin level rise which then releases its own serotonin. The body then converts the serotonin to melatonin a chemical the helps you sleep.

No more dandruff or hair loss: a few spoons of honey in warm water can be the solution to your dandruff issues. Because honey is rich in antifungal and antibacterial it is effective in fighting Dandruff and hair loss.

Helps with burns; oh! How I hated iodine as a child. Each time I scraped my body my mum or dad (depending on who was available at the time) would reach for the first aid kit and apply iodine on the wound. I’d scream and cry promising never to play again lol. 

But as an adult my sister had a home accident. Her whole legs were burnt. It was really bad. She was in the hospital for about a year and couldn’t walk for 2years. That was my first encounter with the healing powers of honey. A neighbour had advised that we applied honey to the entire lengths of the injury so she can heal properly without scars. In my mind I didn’t believe that was possible. But we applied it anyway, true to the advise. It worked!

Honey, truly helps heal burns and cleans it out leaving no scar in its wake.

Great moisturizer:  yea I know I’ve left the arena of food consumption into cosmetology. We are what we eat. However, if you’re a DIY person with dry skin honey is a great moisturizer for you (we’ll discuss recipes and diy mixtures someday).

I can go on and on about this sweet honey. But for now we know why its on my list of the greatest six.

SIX GREATEST 3- GARLIC CLOVE FOR THE BRAVE

I’m not decided if I like garlic or I only deal with it because of its health benefit.I’ve heard people describing all kinds of ways to swallow garlic like a tablet, chew it during the weekend when you’re sure you’d not be out all day. 

Because the smell of garlic is so purgent, it makes it an ingredient for the brave. You can’t just get rid of that smell. If you swallow it, it smells out through sweat and pee. Sigh, its like having to deal with a bad hand that comes with the best fortune.

Garlic, grows out in cloves. The outer layer is made of dried covering that protects the cloves from drying out easily. It is of the same plant family as onions and is also widely used for medicinal purpose.

BENEFITS

Healthy bone and absorption of calcium: manganese in garlic helps build healthy bone structure, formation of connective tissue, aids metabolism and absorption of calcium and proper functioning of sex hormones.

Helps promote fertility: the selenium content in garlic is known for improving fertility in both male and female. It also aids to fight off some viral infections.

It is also good for fighting cancer, autoimmune and thyroid diseases.

Fighting off cold; various studies have been conducted that confirms daily consumption of garlic reduces cold incidence by 60% and reduces the number of days a person is exposed to cold by 70%.

Heart diseases and strokes; forget the smell, with garlic there is no overdose. In fact large intake of garlic is good for reducing blood pressure and stroke incidence. Take about four large cloves of garlic and you may not need medication for high blood pressure.
No memory loss: do you have a history of dementia or memory loss in your family. Then I’d say include garlic in your diet immediately. Garlic is rich in antioxidants that may prevent Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.

Enhanced performance: do you know that ancient Greece used garlic to enhance the strength of their athletes at the Olympics? And ancient civilization used it to improve the work performance of their labourers?.

Because garlic help reduce stress and fatigue it is a good performance enhancement diet. 

Though very few studies have being done in this field, it is safe to say garlic as earned its spot on the list of the greatest dietary inclusion man ever discovered.